Life is full of lessons to learn and grow from. Nothing can teach you more in your 20’s than having a quarter life crisis! At the end of last year and start of this year, I did a lot of reflecting and pivoting. What I failed to reflect on was what I only learnt because I HAD my crisis.
With crisis, comes growth!Me again!
My quarter life crisis was in full swing for all of 2019, so 2020 was a HUGE year of learning and improving. I’ve shared a lot of that journey on this blog (albeit under another name ‘That Fulfilling Life’), but the underlining theme of finding a life of happiness is still present.
Yes, I’m still sometimes affected and triggered by my crisis, which makes it very hard to be grateful for it. But I’m slightly terrified to think about my life if I didn’t learn these lessons!
So here are the lessons I only learnt by having a quarter life crisis!
I learnt about positive psychology and the brain
One of the very first things I did at the start of 2020 was complete an online course on the science of well-being (it is WELL worth doing!). The course taught me very simple, yet effective tools for cultivating a life of happiness and I learnt a few things about psychology as well. I spent much of last year looking into positive psychology and the crazy things our brain does. Now I’m even debating spending another 3 years studying for a Bachelor of Psychology!
Here is the online course The Science of Well-Being (It’s 100% FREE)
Also, check out the following posts I’ve written around these topics:
- Hedonic Adaptation and How to Overcome It
- 5 Ways to Use the PERMA Model to Cultivate a Happy Life
- Practising Self-Compassion and What You Need to Know About It
I learnt how to find happiness within myself
With everything I learnt about psychology and the brain, as well as from books and podcasts, I developed some healthy habits that created the happiest version of me! I began to FINALLY meditate, after I discovered that meditation increases grey matter in your brain, and positively affects the parts of your brain that regulate your emotions (WOW my basic bitch psychology lessons are shining through here HAHA!). To slowy ease into my days and wind down at night, I implemented a morning and night routine. I also started journaling as a bit of an experiment to release thoughts and aid in my emotional regulation. I don’t journal daily, but just when I find myself overthinking.
Honestly there is so much more to how I found such a happier mindset. Many of these lessons below have enhanced the good feelings too!
I learnt what success meant to me
After I ended my pursuit of a life in the film industry in December 2018, I learnt a lot about what success meant to me. My crisis spiralled after this point in my life, and I felt like a failure. Defining what a life of success looked like, eased my mind. Of course I’m still prone to feeling like a failure over this redirection. But I like to remind myself that I think it was supposed to happen for a good reason.
This situation also taught me what I wanted in a job. I didn’t want to work in an industry full of stress all day, everyday. Working 10-16 hours a day 5/6 days a week also wasn’t my idea of a successful life. Was this industry simply just a status symbol for me? Who knows! But I didn’t need it, and I realised I could still be successful without being part of a toxic industry.
What does success mean to you?
I learnt that I needed to work on my self-worth
This lesson has been quite a recent one actually. With all of the development I was doing, towards the end of last year I realised I had very little confidence and self-worth. Most of it was due to developing adult acne and feeling like I had put on weight (despite exercising all through the pandemic lockdowns and eating as normal). I was baffled and frustrated (and still sometimes feel that way).
To gain my self-worth and confidence back, I wrote a list of things to do from research I’d gathered online, and from what just made me feel good. In alignment with my 2021 theme of ‘healing’, I do something from the list daily.
I learnt more about healthy communication
Last year I started following a lot of therapists and psychologists on Instagram (where I hang out most often). Before I knew it, I was learning all these new things about healthy communicating, interacting and ways of being to improve your well-being and self-care. Things like boundary setting, validating emotions, and
My favourite accounts are:
I learnt about my negative beliefs
So many negative core beliefs and unhealthy mindsets were brought to the surface last year! I’m still working through a lot surrounding love and relationships, money, and myself in general. A lot of things came up mainly through journaling, but I’ve had the help of podcasts, books, and self-development courses.
My favourite book for mindset around money is You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero.
A podcast you need to listen to is Mental Makeover by Lauren Curtis.
The self-development course that worked wonders for my belief breakthroughs was The Rise & Conquer 6 Week Online Course by Georgie Stevenson.
I learnt about who I am
Of course all of the above points taught me a lot about who I am, but there is so much more to me than that. I learnt that I’m a highly sensitive person, I’m an ambivert, and I CRAVE my alone (which on a deep level I’ve always known, but now I truly nurture and respect that craving). My lessons in several different industries taught me what I do and don’t want in the workplace, and I’ve learnt how resilient and strong I am.
If you’re like me and have been or are still in a full crisis mode, I encourage you to write out a list of the things you’ve learnt because you’ve been in your quarter life crisis! This felt super rewarding and inspiring to write and read over. I just have a great sense of pride for myself now!
I hope you were inspired by this week’s post! If you want to be notified of new posts as they go live each week, be sure to subscribe. Don’t forget to join me on Instagram for more quarter life crisis wisdom, inspiration, and validation, along with memes and anything Marvel related 😉 If you have any questions or thoughts feel free to contact me via email.
I love you 3000!