IS IT LONELINESS? OR ARE YOU JUST ALONE?…BECAUSE HONEY, THEY ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT FEELINGS!
By now you should have realised just how much this gal loves her alone time! It’s an integral part of self-development and something I value so much. At this point, me not getting my alone time is like not getting sleep – I’m stressed, exhausted and can sometimes turn green.
Loneliness, however, is not the same thing!
I know people who have pushed their fears of loneliness onto me when I’ve spoken about wanting to live by myself, and I know people who can’t stand to get home and have no-one to talk to about their day. In my opinion, I don’t think these feelings are coming from a healthy place.
If you can’t stand to be alone, how are you going to survive the rest of your existence with yourself?Meeeeeee
I’d be lying if I said I never felt lonely, but on the whole, I adore my alone time like Thor loves his Mjolnir!
Perhaps people are just confused between being alone and feeling lonely, so here’s what I think (based on what I have experienced myself):
When you’re lonely…
- You seek comfort and validation from other people.
- It feels like no-one likes you.
- You feel like no-one sees you, hears you or understands you.
- Being alone is triggering.
- You tend to overthink and begin to feel like something is wrong with you (AKA you ask yourself “Am I too loud?”, “Do I talk too much?”, “Have I done something wrong?”, “Am I too much?”).
Maybe you don’t think or feel all of these at once; maybe you feel only a few of these feelings every once in a while; or maybe you think these some of these things without feeling lonely all. That’s for you (and perhaps even a professional) to work out.
TOP TIP: Distract yourself from any feelings (including loneliness) by doing something you enjoy. I love to immerse myself in other worlds, so generally it’s books and movies that take my attention away from reality. Alternatively there have been studies about getting into a state of flow that have positive effects on your well-being. I always go into flow doing acrylic pouring. I lose track of time, I never get distracted, and it feels like I’ve been in a meditative state.
When you’re alone…
- You have the mental and emotional space to figure out who you are.
- It feels energising, yet calming at the same time.
- You learn to find happiness within yourself.
- Figuring out your dreams, fears, and beliefs comes naturally when you’re not influenced (knowingly or unknowingly) by other people’s energies.
- Learning to love yourself is easier.
I think to some degree even extroverts should give themselves time to be alone, but don’t forget this is based is on ambivert’s thoughts, opinions and experiences (and since Covid began, I’ve only felt more introverted by the day!). So if you’re an extrovert who’s already begun the self-development journey, perhaps some of these points aren’t even relevant to you.
You do you boo!
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I love you 3000!